Random Thoughts

I experienced it twice. Once during my Sekolah Rendah Agama (primary school) and another one during my Pre-U. You know when you are not your teacher’s favourite. You know she won’t pay her full attention to your learning, but give her/his 100% attention to other students. You know you are not her favourite when s/he doesn’t look at you when she talks. You know you are neglected when she didn’t check your homework yet praise your friends’ work. You know that because you get that feeling. And that feeling would never be faded. No, after you die. Thank you teacher for acting out of a sense of academic fairness. Hopefully, you are not prejudiced against others in the future.  

Every kid (people) has their own ability and you cannot compare ones’ advantage to the other’s disadvantage. It is so unfair and yet most of our teachers still think that students are robot where they can programme to certain level of productivity so that we can produce the same level of output. It is so mess. 

Students should not be rank only based on their grades, based on their performance in education line. It should not be limit only to that certain area. It should be wider. It should also include the creativity aspects, the society aspects and the growth of the students itself. I’m not sure if it is assumed to be perfect if s/he is very good in academic yet couldn’t speak to public, couldn’t get into society and makes friends. If it so, no doubt, our education really wants the students to be robots. 

Suli Breaks once said “Education is about inspiring ones mind, not just filling their head”. This is true. Students nowadays learn not for purpose of living but for the purpose of examination. They remember everything before the examination and vomit everything during the examination. And when you ask them about that subject perhaps 2 months later, they won’t remember anything. This is because education system have put certain indication that students will only present goods and excellent when they get good grades no matter how bad and illegal their actions to achieve it. 

When the students couldn’t achieve that certain indication, they will feel over-stressed (stress is good, over-stressed is not). They will feel disappointed with themselves for their grades, for not perform their very best in the examination, for not being the teacher’s favourites. Sadly, they will make the very last action by committing suicide. 

Based on website indianexpress, the engineering student decided to take his life because of failure in examination. No, this is not the way we should do. 

We should maybe change out chance from the academic aspect to the creativity aspect. We can do a lot more things besides the one that we learn in college. We can do business, we can presenting college in Football match, we can be a talented singer, we can write and we also can be a volunteer. We can do anything that make us happy and not over-stressed. 

I am not good giving advice, but sometimes or maybe once in a while, we need to hear advises from others. Trust me, life is short. Do whatever that makes you happy regards what others will say about it. It’s not them that live your life, it’s you who make the decision in order for you to fight or just surviving. Continue to fight and never lose hope, if you are tired, then take a break and continue fighting. However, surviving is still consider good enough than do nothing. 

Life is not only about academic purposes, it is more than that. It is wider as I mentioned above. Reveal yourself, find that spirit, and remember, without trying you could not see the star in you. Yes, you are your own star. Be your own shinning and gleaming star. 

Manusia baik

Ya Allah, Aku mohon padaMu Permudahkan urusannya, hidupnya serta matinya. Kau berikanlah kejayaan atas usaha kerasnya. Kau tetapkanlah imannya hanya untukMu. Kau murahkanlah rezkinya serta makbulkan setiap doa. Kau titipkanlah jodoh terbaik untuk dirinya. Jadikanlah dia hamba yang setia, anak yang soleh, abang yang bertanggungjawab, suami yang teguh iman serta ayah yang terbaik luaran dan dalaman. Aku mohon ya Allah, berikanlah kegembiraan sepanjang hidupnya, seperti mana dia memberi sinar kepada manusia lain. Berikanlah dia kawan-kawan yang baik, yang sentiasa ada disamping jatuh bangunnya dia. Ya Allah, aku mohon sangat sangat ya Allah. Tetapkan terbaik untuk dirinya kerana dia manusia baik. Hidup dan matinya.

 Usmkejut 18 April 2015 // sabtu 9.09pm
Untuk kau manusia baik

buat kawanku

kawan, aku rindu. sungguh, aku tak tipu. aku rindu kita yang dulu. yang kesana kemari bersama, balik sekolah sampai ke malam berfacebook entah gossip macam macam cerita. kita kongsi semua kenangan sama-sama. dari cerita pasal peta benua afrika hinggalah ke jebat pahlawan melaka. ingat tak masa hainies ingatkan kau suka kat farid ? aku ada buat post kan pasal tu dulu, kelakar je ! haha bahagia je dulu. Aku ingat lagi bila mana kau tak boleh tidur sebab esok paper physics SPM. kau takut tak boleh jawab. Aku ingat lagi kes kau teman aku ambik injection allergy masa kita camp dulu, "eh eh dah berkenalan pulak budak ni", kata aku dalam hati. mana mungkin aku tak sayang kau, banyak camp dah kita redah sama-sama. dari camp pertama kita kat sk putrajaya presint berapa tah sampai la ke camp kita kat terengganu. dah berapa banyak camp kita tidur sama-sama, macam mana aku tak rindu kau.  dari kita masuk solar cooking sampai kita ke pesta pantun. dari berpanas-panas (masa tu kau kenal budak sbpi rawang tu, Lim kan nama dia) sampai la ke gadis melayu berpantun. dari kisah budak kustech kena buang asrama, kisah mirul muncul nami, kisah amir nasrin muncul kza, semua benda kita redah je.  dari kisah-kisah tu lahirlah zine zine :D. kau ingat lagi tak ? 

kawan, hidup aku dah tak macam dulu. aku rindu kau. bila aku jumpa kau, rasa hati ni nak peluk kau erat, nak cium pipi kau. tapi seakan ada batas antara kita. sesuatu yang jadikan kita seakan berjarak pada jasad yang sangat dekat. aku nak cerita macam-macam pada kau, nak luah semua yang aku lalui selama kau tak ada dengan aku, tapi mulut aku terkatup seperti terlihat ada garis lutsinar yang menghalang aku untuk meluah. aku rindu nak baring sebelah kau sambil cakap tentang masa depan, pandang langit gelap dalam khemah camp. aku rindu nak tidur sebilik dengan kau sambil dengar kau otp dengan ayizahari kawan plkn kau waktu malam. aku rindu nak kau buatkan milo dengan maggi untuk aku, nak turun buka puasa ngan dinner sama -sama kat raff. kawan, kau ingat tak masa kita puasa tu, aku ada cerita pada kau yang classmate aku tanya kenapa aku puasa, dia ingat aku takde duit. pastu kau marah haha. sebab kita time tu kan puasa sunat. kawan, aku tak banyak kenangan dengan kau sejak umur kita 18. ada jugak sikit rasa cemburu bila tengok kau ada kawan lain dan lupa aku. tapi aku tau, kau bahgia. cukuplah untuk buat aku bahgia jugak. 

kawan, aku selalu fikir kenapa kita jadi macam ni. padahal dulu kita janji macam macam kan. nak kata kita ego pon tak boleh jugak, sebab aku sendiri tak faham definisi ego (aku sekarang dah malas nak bukak kamus dewan bahasa). kawan, aku teringin sangat nak kita jadi macam dulu. apa apa benda ke cerita ke semua kongsi sama sama. nak tanya life kau macam mana, study kau okay ke tak, aku selalu tengok kau tweet. tapi aku tak berani nak komen apa -apa. aku harap kau baik-baik saja. 

kawan, next time kalau aku nampak kau tweet, boleh ke aku komen? kalau aku nampak kau kat mana mana, boleh tak aku nak peluk kau? kalau aku rindu, boleh ke aku call kau? kawan, aku teringin sangat nak kita jadi macam dulu balik. kawan, kalau tiba masa aku nanti, doakan aku bahagia. aku tau kau akan doakan aku bahagia. aku sayang kau, dunia akhirat. 

assalamualaikum.

buat kawanku nurul nadiah mohd ali

23 mac 2015//1.17 pagi

doakan aku bahagia